Deadfish. Dieing

Today i remembered a book store i went to in The south side of Turkey. It'd been six months without any sign of dad or my own language.. Buy this state me and mum were speaking Turkish to one another. I fled into this book store in search for a book with some english.. I craved some sort of English, i came accross the only English book i could find.. Poorly printed a book about the lock nest monster. I buried myself in the store reading the short elaborate story over and over. I have a massive crush on red heads. Massive - Heidi ion.

self portrait, Sowed a collar on my new shirt this afternoon I'm going to miss you Grace. alot. Might be traveling in the morning to go to Gloucester blues festival this weekend. hopeful

on the weekend im going to abuse the large bottle of tequila sitting on my fridge,

Doomed to crumble unless we grow, and strengthen our Communication. Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion. The light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us So We cannot seem to reach an end crippling our communication.i know the pieces fit because i watched them tumble down.

'Boogie now Apocalypse later.

I've been crawling on my belly Clearing out what could've been. I've been wallowing in my own confused And insecure delusions For a piece to cross me over Or a word to guide me in. I wanna feel the changes coming down. I wanna know what I've been hiding in Saturn ascends, choose one or ten. Hang on or be humbled again

My dream, one day i'll do this.

guard up

Apparently Tamworth is flooding this weekend..

Its terribly cold. and im staying in to do much needed biology study

I spent all saturday afternoon watching old movies and drinking tea. this is well probably one of my favourite scenes of all time.

Good beer. Good song

Please your mama

what happens when a tornado meets a volcano?

"THROUGHOUT HUMAN HISTORY, AS OUR SPECIES HAS FACED THE FRIGHTENING, TERRORIZING FACT THAT WE DO NOT KNOW WHO WE ARE OR WHERE WE ARE GOING IN THIS OCEAN OF CHAOS IT HAS BEEN THE AUTHORITIES AND THE POLITICAL, THE RELIGIOUS, THE EDUCATIONAL AUTHORITIES WHO ATTEMPTED TO COMFORT US BY GIVING US ORDER, RULES REGULATIONS, INFORMINING, FORMING IN OUR MINDS THEIR VIEW OF REALITY. TO THINK FOR YOURSELF YOU MUST QUESTION AUTHORITY AND LEARN HOW TO PUT YOURSELF IN A STATE OF VULNERABLE, OPERN MINDNENESS; CHAOTIC, COFUSED,VULNERABILITY TO INFORM YOURSELF."

Boy oh boy does she have lungs..

Romeo's been eating all the rose bush's..

and my step father is getting pissed.

yeah ofcourse.

My brain is overloaded

with the sound of lawnmower rattling from the nextdoor neighbor fighting with his overgrown lawn.

cheap incense is snuggling up my nostrils along with concussion from too much coffee.

but thats ok.

"Ellymay. The girl with the beautiful blue eyes, the beautiful true eyes.She stands as the world fades behind the light of her beauty. Her Grace is unmeasurable, as is the love she holds."

TOOL - RAMMSTEIN - IGGY POP AND THE STOOGES - ANDREW WK - DEFTONES - CRYSTAL CASTLES - BLACK KEYS - GRINDERMAN - LUPE FIASCO - PRIMAL SCREAM - THE BLOODY BEETROOTS - PLAN B - EDWARD SHARP AND THE MAGNETIC ZEROS - BOOKER SHADE DJS - THE JIM JONES REVIEW - CSS - THE RATATAT - JOHN BULTER TRIO - ANGUS AND JULIA STONE - PNAU - BLISS N ESO - BIRDS OF TOKYO - WOLFMOTHER - LITTLE RED - GYROSCOPE - OPERATOR PLEASE - AIRBOURNE - BLUE KING BROWN - DEAD LETTER CIRCUS - CHILDREN COLLIDE - THE NAKED AND FAMOUS - ANNA LUNOE - GYSPY AND THE CAT - KIDS OF 88 - KID KENOBI AND MC SHURESHOCK - SAMPOLOGY - LOWRIDER ...

'of me. 'you were just a part of me. you were just a part of me. you were just a part of me.

you were just a part of me. just a part of me. just a part of me. you don't judge you don't speak. you were a part of me. you were a part of me. you were just a part of me.

The trumpet has obviously been drinking'Cos he's fucking up even the simplest lines They say it's a sight that's quite worth seeing It's just that everyone's interest is stronger than mine When they clean the streets I'll be the only shit that's left behind

"So you tried to put the fire out but you used Gasoline."

Never one to hog the grass, Sniff the dope and act an ass, Just a soldier marching to

The golden rule of puff and pass.

So pardon me, I'm wrappin' up.

If I was speakin out of class,

I'm just a grunt who's groovin' to

The golden rule of puff and pass.

spotting trains train spotting

look inside yourself..

dad how long till i can drive one of these?

dad: when you grow up

me: when do i grow up?

dad: soon.

Final exam tomorrow! straight after we are signaled to leave the hall im going to be stripping out of my school uniform whilst racing to graces car for our long awaited not organised trip to Newcastle/ Sydney.. the only thing we have organised is the bands and opp shops we are visiting. oh and daddy of course!

I have got a real nice selecto of music for the roadtrip also. and grace is making a variety of sanndwiches for on the way. really looking forward to running up to dad and crash tackling the shit out of him. and cooking breakfast with Sarah in her kitchen while having some wine's getting entwined in conversation on how we are going to save the world. oh and watching some real nice live music.

this is not a poem either is it a story.

i danced on the edge of the light,

the light that was screaming off the towns late night

i chocked on late night Turkish pizza as he told me of magic tricks and power

we walked along the train track with a ice cream. all sorts of delicious mixed in a clump

my ears still ringing with honky tonk and blues songs

pick a sour snake out of my clump, while discussing how better everything is going to become

barely fitting in a back room cramped up with music boxes, and guitars. boxes of war movies and amplifiers

we squish ourself in as the old heater rattles and sparks up with orange

everytime your not looking i steal a bit of chocolate

where you thought i wouldn't find it

your eyes light up as you puff on your pipe

so many amazing idea's

smoked the room out

your whole life has been about struggle and entertainment

never grown up. to never let go of your dreams

but to be awoken occasional by mornings sober and leaving your back room into the sun

i can see so much disappointment bitterness towards things that have become

your alone

i look at all the boxes full of running writing, ideas and thoughts from the past

that will in the notebook last

creating magic to heal the past

And i just want to stay in that room with you forever and ever so your not alone ever again.

your the closest to me, il ever feel.

I. dont love you

In the right light, study becomes insight

But the system that dissed us

Teaches us to read and right

So called facts are fraud

They want us to allege and pledge

And bow down to their God

Lost the culture, the culture lost

Spun our minds and through time

Ignorance has taken over

pieces of what?!

swoooning over him

I dont want to be weak to admit it. but im so very alone. I want dad to drive from newcastle and rock up on my door step with a bottle of juice and a basket of our favourite cheese assorted mix (with all the delicious bits of dried out fruit inside them)

everyday everyday i have the blues, i'm going to pack my suitcase and move on down the road, because nobody is worrying nobody is caring. every day, every day- elmore james. quite timid, quite fragile. Its like suddenly every little touch or word is indenting inside. But i'm very ok. i think. Theres so many things going on inside my head, going on around me. But if i was to even begin to try and explain them through text or this blog I have. I'd sound somewhat like i'm whining and that i need help. and loose possibly most of my sanity sounding like everyone else. i think.. i just know im not happy.

I painted today. my eyes so grabbed on greens and browns and pales.

Throw that bob Marley wanna-be mother fucker out here. ✝

newdress.

deprived of sunlight

Lipan conjuring

My Jaw hurts from chewing gum all day, which has turned into a headache. to feel the sun and bathe in a blow up swimming pool again. so many ideas brewing in my head, the motivation to act on them is kind of somewhat dead? Everything will be cool when i get my couch, and not chill on the lounge room floor till i ache. and im assignment free? the motivation will just automatically appear? yeah sure Quit it. Alas i have broken some heavy chains that were wearing me down.. i feel that freshness of a rainy day . I just dont want to have to go into that sticky locked situation before i can even taste what its like to breathe without heavy again' What flavour do they come in? Vanilla, Chocolate, cheesecake, apple ? I said ..yea neither thankyou.

"In the last hard drive, in the satellites that kick and spin they keep the old footage so everything can live again"

Do watch.

Radiohead.

Selected favourite few.

Tame impala soon. I have to much to say which has turned into too little thanks to alot of overthinking... so here's some sort of flash of what dreams have some what been like lately.